My Advisory Board-Dr. paul Yost

Your Board of Advisors

Hermina Ibarra followed the development of junior consultants at major consulting firms. She found that the consultants who were most successful didn’t model their behavior on one senior consultant. Instead, they observed and drew on the strengths of several role models to build their own unique approach to consulting.[i] Other research suggests the same – the best development comes when people build a diverse and broad board of advisors rather than relying on a single mentor.[ii]

Besides, we all know that the workplace is crazy and full of change. Nobody can rely on a hierarchical progression up a proverbial corporate ladder. Things change too often. We would be wise to think of ourselves as a business of one, and every business should have a board of directors that provides advice, guidance, and maybe most important, accountability. I am a father, husband, leader, follower, teacher, expert and novice – all of them at the same time. Heaven knows I can use as much advice and help that I can get. We also know that we should be checking in with these people now and then. We should get a mentor and meet with them regularly. We should build a network and regularly connect with people.

Hmmm… we think to ourselves, “Great advice!” and it immediately begs the next question: Why don’t we do it? Let me begin with my own excuses, um… I mean… reasons. For one, there’s never enough time. Getting my work done takes so much effort, that getting together with other people always seems to drop to the bottom of the list. This is especially true for the people in my life who I don’t see every day at work. I know that I should be getting together with them more often, but I don’t. Second, I’m not very intentional about the people who we chose as our advisors. If you are like me, I tend to choose people who are easily accessible. I tend not to really think through who the ideal list of people would be. Instead, when I do have a great conversation, it’s because I get lucky. I get together with an old friend or colleague, walk away with great insights, and think, “I should do that more often.” Then, I don’t. Third, I am often afraid to shoot very high. I don’t want to bother people who obviously have a lot more important things to do than talk to me. I limit myself. Even when opportunities do arise, I don’t take advantage of them. I miss the chance to ask a possible mentor if I could buy them lunch and pick their brain because I haven’t even considered the possibility that they might say yes.

Okay, enough talk… Let’s make today different. It’s time to at least build your own board of advisors, and maybe, just maybe, take the first small step to make it a reality.

Reflections

Create your board of advisors. Write down five people who you would want to have on your “advisory board.” Next to each name write two questions that you would like to ask them. Some of the people should be familiar, solid people in your life – the ones who you turn to for advice right now. Other people should be outside your regular contacts. Include people that represent a variety of roles in your life. The people on your board might include: a wise friend, a current or past mentor, a trusted colleague at work, your spouse, a senior executive or respected expert in your field, and/or a coach. If you are a leader, it should probably also include a couple of employees who are deep in your organization.

Stretch yourself. Add two more names to the list of people who would be a real stretch for you. For example, consider a senior leader who is at least two steps above you at work or a recognized expert in your field who is at least two moves away from where you want to be. Make sure you include at least one person who you think would never say yes. Write this name down and figure out what two questions you would like to ask them if you had the chance. You want to be prepared if such an opportunity ever does present itself. You want to imagine a bigger possibility for yourself. Even if you never connect with this person, generating a list of questions that you would ask can be developmental in and of itself because it forces you to think outside the limits that you have imposed on yourself. Don’t be your own prison guard.

Take the first step. Send an e-mail or call one of the people on your list and set up an appointment. Buy them coffee, have lunch, come with a set of questions. What have you got to lose?

My Advisory Board
Names	Two Questions that I Would Like to Ask this Person
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Two people who would really stretch me…

 

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[i] Ibarra, H. (1999). Provisional selves: Experimenting with image and identity in professional adaptation. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44, 764-791.

[ii] Higgins, M. C., & Kram, K. E. (2001). Reconceptualizing mentoring at work: A developmental network perspective. Academy of Management Review, 26, 264–288.

What I’ve Learned in the Past Year-Brie Piedmonte

My name is Brie Piedmonte, I am the Program Coordinator for the Industrial/Organizational Psychology program at Seattle Pacific University.  I have been in this position for just over a year and wanted to take a chance to communicate what I have learned in this past year.   When I began this position I knew nothing about Industrial/Organizational Psychology.  I had spent the past 20 years of my life focused on the sport of gymnastics.  I competed for Seattle Pacific’s gymnastics team, and upon graduating I began my current position.  Needless to say I have learned a lot in the past year….

So, here goes.

What I’ve learned about I/O Psychology in the past year

1. People spend the majority of their life at work

2. People don’t leave jobs, they leave managers

3. The character of a person is just as, if not more important, than the job qualifications

4. People develop on the job, in real time

5. I/O Psychologists work with businesses to select the best employees for the job, which leads to more longevity in the company

6. I/O psychologists perform assessments to evaluate the performance and learning of employees, and then can use those assessments to improve the overall performance of the company

7. I/O Psychologists work in a variety of settings, from human resources, private consulting, in fortune 500 companies, law firms and universities

8.  Good leaders help those they lead to accomplish tasks and have them feel like they did it on their own

9. The students in the I/O program at SPU come from all over the country, from a variety of degrees, life situations, values, and ages, and share the same passion of changing the world of work.

10.The program at SPU provides the research students need to be competent practitioners in this field, and also teaches students the tools they need to put their research into practice. 

 

Those are some of the lessons that have been important to me.  Here’s what it has taught me about myself

1.I stepped into a new role that I knew nothing about ,and have had my most important lessons while developing on in this position.  I have been charged with projects that put me on the edge of my comfort zone, and looking back those are the situations I have learned and grown the most in.

2. It didn’t matter as much what I knew about I/O Psychology, but rather the character, attitude, and work ethic I brought into the position.  This is a lesson I will take with me wherever I go, and gives me confidence that I can continue to tackle things that seem daunting.

3.I was unsure when starting this position who I was outside of the gymnastics world, as it was the culture I had been immersed in since I was four.  Instead of trying to change for the position I showed up exactly as I was, as my raw self.  This has allowed me to grow, receive feedback, and realize what else made me unique and valuable outside of gymnastics. This has taught me to continue to be my real self in any situation.

4.I have learned a tremendous amount from those that are leading me in this position.  I have leaders that give me honest feedback, challenge me, help me accomplish new projects, and have encouraged me to lead others.  I have realized that the faculty “practice what they preach” because they apply the theories of leadership in their relationship with me. 

5.I am not perfect. I grew up in a culture that required perfection, however, I am not expected to be perfect in this position.  I am learning to accept imperfection, realizing that I am learning and developing in the moments when I make a mistake or something does not turn out exactly as planned. People have shown me grace when I do make a mistake, which is not something I had experienced in my past.

6.  I will never know all there is to know about IO Psychology or this position.  And I would never want to be at a place where I did have all the answers.  It’s the not knowing that keeps me on the edge, eager to learn.

Again, I’m not a student in the program, but I’ve learned a few things…..

Life Getting Attention from Life -Dr. Rob McKenna

I recently read a quote from an interview with the great poet William Stafford.  It said, “It’s a confirming, satisfying activity to do.  And it’s almost devotional.  Maybe that’s too strong, but it’s as if a day of my life deserves a little attention from life. It’s my kind of attention to stop long enough, to let the evaluative, the speculative, the exploratory impulses that are native to that portion of my time be manifest in a sustained way so that I can recognize them and get sustenance from them.” 

While the honest truth is that I struggled to understand a lot of poetry when I was in junior high and high school, this comment from ol’ Bill Stafford got me thinking, as does his poetry.  Whether we are writers, poets, electricians, leaders, students, musicians, baristas, businesspeople, pastors, parents, or engineers, this makes sense.  Is it possible that the real stuff of your life, the challenges you face at home and at work or even the most mundane things, could be important enough for you to spend a little bit of that life being intentionally reflective about that life? And, is it possible that giving a little bit of time to actually reflect would help you get it done, be more present, deal with adversity, and find hope in the midst of the real and present challenges of life.

So, here’s a way to measure the extent to which your “life is getting attention from life.”

1. Have you documented a list of goals that you want to achieve in the next year including work goals, personal goals, family goals, and spiritual goals?  What other categories would you include?
2. Do you make space every day that is away from the noise of life?
3. Do you have a vision for who you are becoming….that you could tell someone right now, if asked?
4.   Do you know what you want?  What kind of job, family, friends, community, and life?

You don’t have to have all of these answers, but the fact is that if you make the space to think about it, it will make you more interesting and purposeful, and probably a better parent, leader, and person.

The Moment that Changed You Forever – Dr. Paul Yost

Everyone has pivotal moments in their lives. In my sophomore year of college, my college advisor connected me with a professor in the business school who had a degree in industrial/organizational psychology, a new career direction that I was pretty sure was the one for me. I met with this professor and twenty minutes into the meeting he commented, “What you really need is an internship – just a minute.” He turned around, picked up the phone, talked for a few minutes, and then handed the phone to me. I said hello and before I knew it, I had an interview the following week with Lise Saari, a research scientist in industrial/organizational psychology. That conversation led to a one-year internship and a three-year job at a research institute. After I finished my doctoral training, Lise was offered me a job back in Seattle to work for her at The Boeing Company. All of this happened because of one conversation and one phone call. A colleague of mine tells a similar story. When she was in college, one of her term papers came back with a note from the professor in the margin stating, “Don’t write like this when you go to graduate school.” Her reaction? “He thinks I can go to graduate school!” And, that little comment scrawled in the margin opened up possibilities she had never considered and changed the direction of her life.

What do I believe? I believe that inflection points happen all of the time. A new story is always waiting to emerge. We just miss most of them. Every day, the road divides and we decide which one we want to take. Susan Scott writes in her book Fierce Conversations, “While no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a business, a marriage, or a life, any single conversation can.” Change might be just around the corner.

 Now, sometimes we know we’re at a point. We ask someone to marry us, a pregnancy test comes back positive, we accept a job that will move us across the country. Sometimes the choices are small, but add up over time – do we work late or get home for dinner on time? Sometimes we know that the stakes are high. We take the leap. We proceed on faith, hoping that the future will be kind to us, and we will survive. I begin writing a book hoping that the hundreds of hours it will take aren’t wasted of time.

 Our own reflection points are important, but maybe the greatest moments are when we have the privilege of being pivotal points for others. I’m sure that you know some people in your life who are those people. I do. Remember that professor who connected me with my first internship? Remember the professor who wrote that comment about graduate school on my colleague’s paper? It  was the same person. Before you dismiss this, let me add one more fact – my colleague went to school in Illinois and I went to school in Seattle. We didn’t know each other until we met fifteen years later. The only thing in common in these two stories was the person, Doug McKenna, who connected with both of us in a way that opened new horizons in our lives.

 We all have reflection points in our lives. The question then becomes, how do we take advantage of them? Albert Bandura, a famous social psychologist, wrote a now classic article called, “The psychology of chance encounters and life paths”[1] where he made the point that we can never control the chance encounters in our lives, but we can influence how much impact that they will have on us. Two-thousand years earlier, Seneca, the Roman philosopher wrote, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” Is this true? Mounting evidences suggests that it is. There aren’t many female orchestra conductors in the world, but there are a few. To find out what made the difference in their careers, researchers interviewed several of them to figure out what made the difference. They found that chance did play a role in their lives, but so did something the author called pseudoserendipity, accidentally finding something that you were seeking – where preparedness meets chance. The women who eventually became orchestra conductors were ready when opportunity presented itself. What made the difference? Strong skills, self-confidence, a willingness to take risks, hard work, a drive to succeed, optimism, social support and a bias to seek out opportunities.[2]

 Taking Action

Reflect on the pivot points in your life. What have been some of the pivotal moments in your life? Make a list of at least five of the moments in your life when everything changed. It might have been a conversation that you had, a decision you made, or a life-changing moment in your journey. Now, select two of the positive inflection points. Now, take some time to think about what made the difference – What about you allowed them to become such defining moments in your life? After all, they might not have been inflection points for someone else.

 Set yourself up for success. Look back over what you just wrote. How can you use those same skills to prepare yourself for your next big leap? Just for fun, picture a significant goal that you would like to accomplish in the next five years (a dream you would like to pursue, a new career direction, a change in your life’s priorities). How can you apply the strategies you identified above to prepare for this future opportunity? What is a small step you can take today to start moving toward that goal?

Do a little detective work. Have lunch with a couple of friends. Ask them to tell you about some of the pivotal moments in their lives. Find out what made the difference for them; that is, what prepared them so they could take advantageous of the opportunities when they emerged?

Remember the people who made a difference in your life. Who have been the people in your life who became inflection points? What did they do for you? Have you ever said thank you?

Become an inflection point for others. Think about how you can be the kind of person who makes a difference in the lives of the people who bump into you. Set aside a day and practice being that kind of person. Practice being the kind of person who Look for the potential in others. Be the kind of person who energizes and brings life to others.

                                                               

[1] Bandura, A. (1982). The psychology of chance encounters and life paths. American Psychologist, 37, 747-755.

[2] Diaz, C. L., Serendipity and pseudoserendiptity in career paths of successful women: Orchestra conductors. Creativity Research Journal, 16(2/3), 345-356. See also Williams, E. N., Soeprapto, E., Like, K., Touradji, P., Hess, S., & Hill, C. E. (1998). Perceptions of serendipity: Career paths of prominent academic women in counseling psychology. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 45. 379-389.

Telling the Truth -Dr. Paul Yost

We try so hard to feel confident and competent. But there are times in life when we need to act without knowing the consequences of our decision. We have to make a decision where we will either be brilliant or fail miserably and there is no way to tell which one will happen. This happened in my first consulting project. Now, I had never contracted or managed a consulting project on my own before. So, I did everything that seemed like the right things to do. All the books said so. I met with the client to discuss the project parameters and discussed the purpose of the project. We talked about both of our responsibilities. The meeting went very well, but the actual deliverables at the end were still a little fuzzy. I finished the meeting by asking the project sponsor to send me a brief outline of what she would like in the final report. Then, she asked me to calculate the number of hours the project would take so she could set up the purchase order for the work.

 A few days later, the sample report arrived. It contained several passages like the following:

 [In this project,] I would really like to solidify the list of outcomes along with artifacts and related vital behaviors. .. Normally, the identification of exemplary performance involves interviews, observations, and analysis of people performing at various levels…. Those techniques are structured around an “accomplishment-based” philosophy.  We call them here outcomes and artifacts as instantiations of outcomes.  That philosophy seeks to determine what accomplishments, or outputs of value, most contribute to star performance.   This is important for us as we believe we know what [the] outcomes are.  You have it in docs we sent you and in career model.  I am not asking you to do a validation research study per se, but we need to validate the outcomes when we analyze behaviors.

 Huh? As you might guess, this didn’t lead to the clarity that I was looking for.  So, I thought I would just throw something together and send it to her for comment. I would just make it part of the continuing conversation. However,, every time I sat down to write, I found that I was paralyzed. I couldn’t seem to get anything down on paper. I kept putting it off, until two days later when my wife greeted me at the door that night and told me that the project manager had called and said she would try to call my cell phone. My cell phone was off. I turned it on. Before the cell even booted up, our home phone ring. It was the project manager. She starts, “Really sorry to bother you at home, but I’m writing up the budget request right now. All I need to know is how much the project going to cost so I can get that in. You don’t have to give me the complete breakdown, just give me some hours and that would be fine.”  [At this point I’m thinking, “I can’t give her the hours. This sounds dangerous. Would a real consultant do this? No, I think they would push back…”]

 I answered, “I’m hesitant to guess. I don’t know right now. I can tell you tomorrow when I have finalized the statement of work.” [What I didn’t say was, “I’m hesitant to guess because I’ve never done this before. I really, really, really don’t want to get it wrong.”].

 “But I’m finalizing it tonight. Just think of this as the first of many projects with us.” she says. [At this point I’m thinking that I know it should be okay and she is contracting me on this project as a way to get started. The company likes me. The contract person likes me. Deep down I do trust her and it’s probably not that big of deal, but I don’t really know the hours. I should have done it over the last two days… stupid, stupid, stupid… but the choice was still there: Should I just roll up the numbers over the phone and manage the project expectations accordingly or should I insist on a formal proposal tomorrow? It’s not that big of a deal, I think to myself. I’ll just roll it up even though that’s not what a real consultant would do… stupid, stupid, stupid. I should have rolled up the numbers yesterday….]

 So, I gave her my best estimate of the hours it would take to interview people to write up the results, and create a set of recommendations. When I was done, it came to about 50 hours.  There was a long pause.

 ”Really?” she says. [“Oh no,” I thought. “Now I’ve gone WAY over budget and shocked her.”]

  “Is that too much?” I say.

 ”That’s nothing,” she says. “Let me put you down for 100.”

 And, I say fine. [And I’m thinking, “Well, that didn’t go very well. Now, she now knows what an amateur I am. Maybe I should have insisted that she wait until the next day!”]

 I hung up the phone, and I sat down to my dinner, and stared at my plate. I didn’t eat anything. My wife asks, “You’re still thinking about the phone call, aren’t you?” and I say yes.

 [The truth was that this client really did want to work with me and it should have been okay, but I was worried because I know how projects can grow. I don’t overwork myself but establish clear expectations of what I can and can’t do so, if it comes to it, I can ask for more money if the project increases in scope. I don’t know how to begin to do this…. And this is my first time, and this is big so I better get it right! I had to step into the unknown, not knowing the answers to some of the most important question. If I got it right, I would be fine. If I got it wrong, I will have to work twice as hard to make it happen.]

 The next day, I decided I might as well tell the truth and write a note to the client because I clearly wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding my naiveté.  So I came clean with my worries and misgivings,

 “I promise to have a draft Statement of Work and research design in advance of our next conversation. The struggle I’m having is that this could be a really big or really simple project and the deliverables could be too simple (with you thinking, “That’s what we already thought!”) or too detailed to be useful. With your permission, I’d like to send you a draft SOW and draft interview questions and a sample report as working documents with the expectation that you’ll tear them apart as appropriate and together we’ll get something good and useful. (The perfectionist in me is kicking in).”

 And with that e-mail, it felt like I was throwing myself into free-fall. Either it would be seen as honest and humble or it would be seen as weak and pathetic. There was no way to know. A day later, the reply came,

 “Tell that perfectionist of yours they have to take a hike… er, a vacation!  Don’t agonize about deliverable.  Think of depth versus scope, insight versus data, accuracy versus precision.  Think of it as the first step in series of analytical steps, anywhere from research to business intelligence. This is going to be great! I told the general manager that you were onboard and he was thrilled.  Now, start the business of your own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 What a great ending! However, the reply could have been very different. It could have been very negative. What ultimately made the difference was that I was just too tired to keep pretending.

 So the question remains, how do you throw yourself into the unknown?

 In Romans 8:26-27 (NIV), the Apostle Paul writes:

 “…the Sprit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Sprit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.”

 What a great promise! I can trust God (the Holy Spirit) to communicate and interpret for God on my behalf. I don’t have to be perfect. God is arguing with Himself on my behalf! Gosh, if God gives me that kind of a break in our relationship, how much more will He help me in daily life?

 Better yet, the Holy Spirit takes what I ask and converts it into what I really need.  I can begin to imagine what those prayers sounded like.

 During the phone call, 

I was praying…	The Holy Spirit was saying…
Help me not to sound like an idiot…	Help Paul to see himself as a work in progress and help him to know that’s okay…
I pray that no one else will find out how much I’m winging it. Help no one else to find out…	Help give Paul the courage to share this with his class at school and with people in church on Sunday. Thank you for making him strong in his weakness and able to help those who struggle as well.
Help me to just shut up, quit criticizing myself and just get on with it.	Help him to feel okay with the process. Help him to see this isn’t really all that big of deal in the grand scheme of things.
Help me to do it right…	Help him to learn from it and take comfort and joy in it and share it along the way.
Help me to make sure I spend time with my family and not get too caught up in this.	Help him to spend time with his family and not get too caught up in this.

 And so we all are made strong in our weaknesses.

 Reflections

 Take a few minutes to think about the things that you are struggling with today. Where do you feel incompetent and uncomfortable? Where are you beating yourself up? Divide a piece a paper into two columns. In the left-hand column, write down what you are praying to God. Be honest with yourself. Write the truth; not what you think you should write, but the truth. After all, you don’t have to tell anyone and you can shred the paper when you are done. Now, in the right-hand column, write what you think the Holy Spirit might be saying to God. Remember, this is someone who knows you really well and is on your side. The Holy Spirit is interpreting your longings and praying on your behalf to God. This is the Holy Spirit who is also called the Comforter. What does He say? Now, your task for the rest of the day is to remember these words and live into them. Then, listen to what God says back through His interpreter – the Comforter.

WHO Do YOU Think You Are Anyway? -Dr. Rob McKenna

A few weeks back, my wife Jackie and I were watching the US Open golf tournament.  I don’t play golf very well, but I love to watch golf sometimes…mostly because it makes me feel like I’m on vacation because of all the grass, beaches,  palm trees, and ponds that look like swimming pools.  Anyway, we had actually been watching for about an hour, and had begun to witness what we had seen so many times before…Tiger Woods coming after playing poorly earlier in the week.  At one point, I looked at Jackie and said, “It’s amazing how many times he’s done this.  I mean, he has this uncanny ability to hit the right shots when it counts……Amazing!”  We watched him once again come back all the way to the last hole where he was shooting to force a playoff the next day.  We were both on the edge of our seats watching.  Then, he sinks a 30 foot putt to force the playoff, and the crowd got absolutely nuts.  We were both floored, and again I said, “It’s UNCANNY honey, he does this every time.  I feel like I’ve seen him do this over and over again!”  And then one moment later the coverage broke away to a still camera on an empty golf course with rain falling in the background, and a voice said, “And we’re back live during the rain delay at the 2009 US Open.  We hope you enjoyed our coverage of the Tiger Woods comeback at the 2008 Open.”  Yes, we were watching last year’s tournament, and yes, we did watch it together last yearL 

There are so many questions about identity that this raises for me.  First, is my identity, the sum of my experiences, my accomplishments, or even one major success or failure?  If so, what does my experience with the US Open tell me about me?  To what extent do other people impact who I am?  If I make a foolish mistake in front of other people, does that make me a fool?  Is the label I place on myself or the labels placed on me by others the sum total of who I am?  If I’m Michael Jackson, is who I am “the king of pop?”  If I’m Farrah Fawcet, is who I am the woman in the red bathing suit or the Angel who left before the first season was over?  Is that who I am?  Even though much of what I’ve experienced may or may not be true? 

Identity is so important to us that we have an entire racket called “identity theft.”  And just think of the last time you heard someone say, “who do you think you are anyway?”  The fact is that your identity matters.  It matters because it ultimately impacts what you do.  So, I’d like you to consider three questions.

 

1.  Who are you – Be honest, what labels do you put on yourself, both good and not so good?  Just make a list of the top 10 labels you put on yourself and throw in a few that some trusted others put on you.
2. What are you most afraid of losing? – In what ways does fear have a hold on your identity and charting the course for your life?
3. Whose are you? – To whom do you belong?  Who are you associated with?  To what extent are you so concerned about what other people think that you have lost yourself? 
4. What label would God put on you? – If your Creator came up to you and whispered your name in your ear and said, “[insert your name], you are                          .  What would God say?  If God said, you are acceptable, you are valuable, you are forgivable, you are loved, could you believe it?  If you believed it, what difference could that make?

Rebellion- Dr.Paul Yost

One of the rules in my fifth grade class was that anyone who falls back in their chair will lose it for the day. This, of course, triggered all sorts of questions in the heart of one eleven-year-old boy, “What would happen if everybody fell over in their chairs on the same day? How would a teacher be able to punish the whole class? Would all the chairs even fit behind the teacher’s desk?” The next day, believe it or not, that very thing happened. First Kelly Cook lost his chair, then Paul Yost fell over in his chair, then everybody but one person in Mr. Olson’s fifth grade class had their chairs topple over before lunchtime. It turned out, if the chairs were stacked on top of each other, all of them did fit behind the teacher’s desk and the whole class could be punished. In fact, the next day when we arrived back at school ready to retrieve our chairs we met a teacher who said that there were still some lessons to be learned about safety. Two weeks later, our chairs were finally returned after everyone had composed an essay about the significant dangers of leaning back in one’s chair. But oh the power that we all felt over those ten days was worth it!

Sometimes we just have to rebel. We shout with our actions – we find our voice. This isn’t the kind of rebellion that is meant to hurt other people. This is rebellion that says we have a choice, we have control, we decide. Just when people think we are boring and predictable, we can choose to follow a different path.

Sometimes, we just have to push the boundaries to assert who we are the world. In his book, Crossing the Unknown Sea, the poet David Whyte writes,

“To live with courage in any work or in any organization, we must know intimately the part of us that does not give a damn about the organization or the work….With a healthy outlaw approach, we are outside the laws of predicable cause and effect and inside the intensity of creative originality. We have a gleam in our eye; we look to the edges of things; no one really knows what we are up to. We see with the eyes of those who do not quite below. We are dangerous again, and glad to be so.”

Psychologists through the decades have reflected on the human need for self-determination. Other research has consistently shown the advantages of having a sense of agency and control. So, take a few minutes and consider where you might want to assert your will, to find your voice, maybe for no other reason than it sounds like fun. It may require you to break a few rules that need to be broken, to dance your own dance, or sing along to a favorite song no matter who is watching in the car next to you. It might require a little bit of risk, a little bit of stupidity.

 When I was a rebel. Reflect back on some of the times early in your life when you were a rebel—not to hurt people—but to exert your own voice.

Shock & awe. Just once this week, say out loud what everyone else is thinking but no one is courageous enough to say out loud. See what happens.

Break a little glass every day. I worked with an executive who made this one of his personal mantras. For him, it meant making sure he wasn’t just going along with the crowd. He was willing to speak the truth as he saw it.

Take back your day. One day this month, clear your calendar. Spend the day on the most important things at work and let the daily fires take care of themselves, just this once. For bonus points, make sure this is day where you skip at least one meeting where people won’t miss you. After all, we miss work all of the time when we are sick and somehow the organization survives without us. Yet, we never give ourselves permission to take a day to focus on the things that really matter in our jobs and lives. What would happen if you did?

Say no. Find something that you won’t do this week. Practice saying no. How did it feel?

Take a day to play. If you have kids, take one day this year to wake them up early in the morning to spend a special day with you. You won’t do it regularly, but this one day might just create a memory that lasts long into the future.

 

[1] Whyte, D. (2001). Crossing the unknown sea: Work as a pilgrimage of identity. New York: Riverhead Books.

[1] Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self determination in human behavior. New Yourk: Plenaum Press.

[1] See Bandura, A. (1982). Self-efficacy mechanism in human agency. American Psychologist, 27, 122-147. See also Ng, T. W. H., Sorensen, K. L., & Eby, L. T. (2006). Locus of control at work: A meta-analysis. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 27, 1057-1087. 

[1] Whyte, D. (2001). Crossing the unknown sea: Work as a pilgrimage of identity. New York: Riverhead Books.

[1] Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self determination in human behavior. New Yourk: Plenaum Press.

[1] See Bandura, A. (1982). Self-efficacy mechanism in human agency. American Psychologist, 27, 122-147. See also Ng, T. W. H., Sorensen, K. L., & Eby, L. T. (2006). Locus of control at work: A meta-analysis. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 27, 1057-1087.

Pain and Your Brain- Dr. Rob McKenna

Today I’m heading in for a two level spinal fusion….for anyone who’s interested…it’s a fusion at L4-L5 and L5-S1. While it may seem extreme, I’m pretty excited about it. A good friend of mine had a similar procedure 2 weeks ago, so I’ve had a chance to learn from him and also watch him maintain his own spirits as he gets better.
Even though I hate taking a surgical option, I’ve learned so much along the way. Here are a few of those lessons.
1. Make sure you invest in other people, especially when you body or your brain is telling you it’s all about you. So many people have invested in me, even people who didn’t know me that well. Some have prayed, some have mowed my lawn, some have just made the time to ask how I’m doing. Amazing people…I want to be more like them.
2. Our bodies will fail us. I have never been more aware of the fact that my soul resides in a body that is, and will, fail me over time. This isn’t a grim reality, just a reality.
3. My wife is unbelievable. I love her more today than I ever have. She’s scary great. She loves me in spite of my little stupid things, and she is such an amazing mom.
4. My boys are becoming little men. This morning I had the chance to tell them that they are the men of the house while daddy’s in the hospital next week. They have taken the charge and get it. (we’ll see about that one…they are 6 and 7).
5. My friends are generous and my friendships to them are deep. I am blessed. They have my back.
6. It’s hard to take things from people when they offer help. Not because it’s so hard, but because sometimes the help offered creates more work…..most of the time it doesn’t, but you know what I mean. It’s complicated. We all just need to help each other more and be fine if we can’t too.
7. I have a great job. I just do. For as long as I have it, I have a great job that is made up of people who you just want to be around.
8. God is good. He just is.

I’m so excited to be on the other side of this. Back pain has been a part of my reality for 20 years (unbelievable). That’s not a sob story, it’s just a reality. I don’t know anything different. It’s going to be good.

Rob

Provocative Questions- Dr. Paul Yost

For this blog, I decided to step back and ask myself a bigger question,

 “If I could only have one blog entry on motivation,

what is the one thing I would want to pass on to others?”

 So this is it—this, I think, is about the best that I have. I think that everyone should have a short list of 5-10 powerful questions they can ask themselves every day. They don’t need to ask all of them every day, but they should choose at least one every morning.

 Here’s the thing—they can’t be just any questions because all questions are not created equal. In my experience, the most motivating questions tend to be appreciative inquiry questions; that is, they trigger possibility, optimism, and energy.[1] Really good appreciative inquiry questions don’t ignore difficulty, but they focus on the possibility on the other side. Life is possibility to live into, not a problem to be solved. They talk about difficulties, but focus on what you can draw upon within yourself to navigate through the situation.

 Here are the ten questions on my list:

• What did I do well yesterday?
• What is my purpose today? What purpose is trying to find me?
• What are the strengths I can leverage?
• What are the weaknesses I need to compensate for and how will I do this today?
• What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?
• What truth am I blurring?
• What I’d really like to say is….
• What I’m scared to say is….
• What would be really freeing to say is…

 I don’t ask all of the questions every day, but choose one or two each morning. I also pull the list up when I’m feeling scattered or need some focus in my life. They seem to cut through the chatter and noise. They ground me.  

 To create your own list of provocative questions, one thing I would suggest is that you read people who know how to ask a really good question, one that cuts to the very heart of your identity and leaves you excited to live that truth. Two books that do that for me are The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron (1992) and The Answer to How is Yes by Peter Block (2002). I’m sure there are others.

 There are five criteria that will be helpful as you think about your list provocative questions.[2] Look for questions that:

• Focus on possibility: If the answers could be fully actualized, would you want them?
• Are grounded: Does the question elicit examples from the past that make the ideal future as a real possibility?
• Focus on the affirmative: Is the question stated in affirmative and bold terms?
• Are provocative: Does it stretch, challenge, or interrupt the status quo?
• Focus learning and growth: Doe it focus on how you are changing and development over time? Does it stimulate insight and learning?

 Below is a list of questions that I have collected over the years from various sources. Some will be powerful catalysts for you; others won’t. Look for the 5-7 questions that are most powerful for you. These will be the questions that excite you and put you at the edge of yourself at exactly the same time.  You’re likely to say to yourself, “Okay, if I’m honest with myself, here is the real truth that actually is a little painful to admit. So, how come I also feel more energy?” One word of caution, as you are putting together your list, make sure you ignore any questions you think should be on your list; only include the ones you want on your list.

• What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?
• What crossroads am I at right now?
• If I was smarter than I am, what would I do?
• What unsolicited offers of help or unexpected opportunities may be presenting themselves to me right now that I am discounting or missing?
• What is so worthwhile, that it is worth doing poorly today?
• What do I love about my life? What do I hate about my life?
• What advice would my “older and wiser self” give me right now?
• If God was too good to be true, what would He say to me right now?
• If there was no risk of failure, what would I try?
• If I could change anything about my life right now, where would I start?
• If my life were a book, what would be the theme? What are the lessons I would weave into the story to pass on to others?
• What is one thing that I would have liked to have accomplished in my life by now?
• What are ten things I am tired of tolerating?
• Interview 3 friends; ask them, “What am I good at (especially the things that you think I don’t seem to admit to myself)?” Now what would happen if you accepted these as strengths?
• What are 25 things that I am grateful for today?
• In 20 years, what would be one of the most powerful things I could say about the next two decades looking back over them? What will I want to remember about today?
• What is something that I need to “let go” or stop doing?
• How do I sabotage myself and my plans?
• What is the core factor that gives vitality to my life – the one thing without which it would not be the same?
• What gifts and dreams are below the surface in my life that just might blossom into something extraordinary if I allowed myself to be more vulnerable?
• If I received no compliments or acknowledgements of appreciation from people today, where would I find my value?
• What if, instead of trying to find my purpose, I thought about letting my purpose find me? What purpose is trying to find me in my life right now?
• What question, if I knew the answer, would set me free? (from Block, 2002)

 Feel free to use the comments section to include some of your own questions and/or any book recommendations you might have!

 

 

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[1] Cooperrider, D. L., Whitney, D., & Stavros, J. M. (2008). Appreciative inquiry handbook: For leaders of change (2nd Edition). Brunswick, OH : Crown Custom Publishing, Inc. ; San Francisco, CA : BK, Berrett-Koehler.

[2] Some of these are my criteria but also see Watkins, J. M., & Mohr, B. J. (2001). Appreciative inquiry: Change at the speed of imagination. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer. See p. 141.

What “Rules” Do You Live Your Life By? -Dr. Rob McKenna

 Sailing is such a powerful metaphor. When I was a kid, my dad and I would sail on a lake called Lake Chelan in a boat called a bumblebee. The boat was probably only about 10 fee long, yellow (surprise, with the a name like bumblebee) but it was fun. When the winds would come up, that little boat could really move. My dad loves to sail, and he taught me so much about sailing, the wind, and how to navigate that little boat in the toughest of waters. The boat had a removable keel, or daggerboard. The keel is the wing that stick out through the bottom of sailboats that keep the boat from tipping over when it’s leaning over. While it’s not a rudder (the thing at the back of the boat that steers the boat, it’s function is to keep the boat upright and stable when moving quickly through the water. The challenge with that little boat was that the keel didn’t have anything to keep it down, so when the waters got rougher and the wind got stronger, it would start to float up through the middle of the boat. When that happened, the boat was completely unstable and flipped on us more than once.

 I sometimes ask my clients to consider their guiding principles, or the principles that guide them through life. After I ask them to identify them, I’ll often ask them to go to someone that knows them well and ask them what they see as their guiding principles. The funny thing is that the principles we often describe as a those that guide us are often different from the principles that other people see guiding us. Going back to the bumblebee, sometimes our self proclaimed guiding principles are more like the “bumblebee” printed on the side of the sailboat that actual principles. What we print on the side of the boat may look good, but it really doesn’t say much about the stability of the boat itself. The keel, although hidden, is a much better example of the guiding principle of our lives. While it isn’t seen most of the time and doesn’t’ actually tell us anything about where we are going (like the rudder), it is the thing that keeps us upright in the toughest of storms.

 What is your keel? What would someone close to you identify as your keel, or your guiding principles? Are they the same. Do your guiding principles keep floating up through the middle of your boat, failing to give you any consistency and stability in tough times. Think about it, your principles are your keel. Getting them firmly in place will help you know where to stand and how to move forward with some consistency and predictability, even when everything else around you might be out of control.

What are your guiding principles, and how did they different from those described by someone else? What did you have in common?